ClinicalLGLori Gottlieb 3-min read 10-min action

The Unreliable Narrator Check

Before reacting to a team conflict, rewrite the story from the other person's view.

The concept

The unreliable narrator

We are all unreliable narrators of our own lives — we edit stories to protect ourselves. The first move in any conflict is to notice the edit you're making.

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Maybe You Should Talk to Someone

Chapter 5: Namaste

By Lori GottliebView source

Get reminded to actually run this

Pivots only work when you use them. Send me a gentle nudge:

Pivot pairs

Curated cross-disciplinary pairings that strengthen this one.

The Conflict Pair

Pair with: The Anonymous Pre-Mortem

Grant's anonymous pre-mortem surfaces what nobody will say out loud. Gottlieb's unreliable-narrator check makes sure you're hearing it accurately.

How people ran this

Used this before a portfolio review. Sat with the dread for 8 minutes, then opened Figma and just shipped the worst version. Got the best feedback of my year.

Maya, product designer

Ran it during a planning week when I kept rewriting the same doc. Three rough versions in 15 minutes — my staff eng picked the one I least liked.

Jordan, eng manager

I'm a chronic deleter. The 'name the feeling' step was the unlock. It was almost always shame, not perfectionism.

Anon

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